The Early Bird Gets the Worm

I had an unexpectedly early start today. Somehow my early morning brain registered the 7:00 alarm (that I usually ignore) as 8:00, forcing my poor body to drag itself out of bed and scramble to get ready. Everything was normal- the amount of time it took me to get dressed, fix myself lunch, put makeup on, say hello to the security guard downstairs. I was even proud of myself for getting to campus in under 10 minutes.

The time keeper wished me a good morning, a good luck on midterms, and a happy Spring Break. I've never seen him so chipper, yelling a three minute warning to students rushing to their 8AM classes. It still didn't register that I wasn't supposed to be there for another hour. I sped towards the library in my black wedge boots.

The twelfth floor of Bobst knew better, though, not wanting to let me in as I repeatedly tried the code to open the door. I even clocked in. Absolutely no awareness that it said "8:03", not 9:03. Then my boss Marian saw me. Whoops. So I dragged myself (again) back downstairs, baffled by what I had done to myself. "What an awful start to this already long day," my brain told my body, "go get some coffee".

Took myself to Third Rail, joked about my time lapse error to the employees there. A nice looking man drinking a cappuccino suggested I may have jumped the gun on day-light savings time starting Sunday. We got into a lovely discussion about my studies, his (past) travels and education in Egypt, my Californian roots, his career switch from the UN into film (why was he wearing sunglasses the whole time? He must have been famous). We chatted for half an hour about the Middle East, what happens as you get older, my birthday, Prague, and I have to admit I was a bit charmed, and hoped he would exchange contact information. But the conversation drifted, we slipped into the digital abyss, and he just became another pleasant memory of a lovely encounter with people in NYC. He bid me a "have a nice day", I replied with a "nice talking with you". I finished my coffee and left.

So I'm back at Bobst to start my day again, but not wishing anymore to hit "reset". Beauty came to my cold and bright morning. The park was crisp and calm. So Beauty comes and Beauty goes fleetingly - always elusive, never on demand. And yet always right under the layer of our self-absorbed projections. God always working in mysterious ways to kick me out of my routine and back into this moment. Back into life.

I'm taking the beauty of this moment. Others blamed my roommates: "Maybe they played a prank on you". I wouldn't put it past them. But today I'm blaming God. The power that one hour had on my entire state of being doesn't come out of nothingness.

That extra gift of time... truly a gift.

Study Abroad: My Plea (aka Application)

My first post of my sophomore year of college and it's already the second semester. Damn. This may be a sign of why my topic is today: I have these questions inside me that I haven't been able to express in writing or even in myself. Have I lost myself? My spiritual practice? My limited wisdom? Or have I just lost my naiveté? Long story short, I am applying to Study Abroad.

It has been an important part of my educational experience that I go outside of my comfort zones. Coming from California to an entirely new city was one of the biggest tests of my strength and courage. Designing my own major in Gallatin has been another test; it has tested every conception I had about myself, my goals, my passions, and my future. After being here for almost two years now, I am exhilarated by the idea that I can continue pushing myself and continue to experience things that most people never have the opportunity to. Study abroad is one of those opportunities.

I am applying to NYU London because I am overwhelmed by the opportunities that come with that program: the ability to study philosophy and middle eastern politics is incredibly important to me, and the ability to travel within Europe is equally important. I have academic goals hand in hand with experiential goals in mind for my study abroad experience; that is the true meaning of education for me. I want to live and experience another culture, many cultures if I am able, and I want to learn from those cultures. I want to learn things about myself that I can only learn from going (once again) outside of my comfort zone and into a foreign environment.

I tend to over think things. I make lists, plan incessantly, and organize until there is nothing left to analyze or plan for. And then I keep planning. By the end of my freshman year I thought I had it all planned out: internship in the summer, study abroad in the spring. It wasn’t until I heard President John Sexton speak about his spirituality and his vision for our global university that I realized that I can’t plan everything, and I need to be open to changes and to diversity and to everything in this world. I have been planning so much and for so long that I began to loose sight of the opportunities and the beauty of this present moment. I need this more than anything… to take a leap of faith in myself and in my own abilities. I need to let go; I need to just live and trust that I am capable and powerful and can jet across the world without any doubts. I need this.